Your children aren’t your possession, they are your responsibility.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
— Kahlil Gibran
There are so many parents out there who take their children as a possession.
They want them to do whatever they think they should be doing.
They want them to be whoever they think they should be.
They need them to have whatsoever they think they should be having.
It’s a total possession to fulfill what they have missed out on during their vibrant time of youthfulness.
The kids cannot enjoy themselves on their own.
They cannot decide for themselves.
They cannot be trusted to do what they think they want to do.
They cannot live their dreams.
They cannot fulfill anything that is out of their parent’s expectations.
I know for sure not all parents are like that and some of them when doing whatever they tell their children to do — aren’t aware that they are doing the opposite to the kid.
I have seen how many parents are to their children.
I can confess from my mother, one day she told me she thought that I would make her happy if I became a singer because that was her dream yet she couldn’t fulfill it.
Isn’t a bad dream yet I never see myself singing.
I love writing, I love dancing, I love fitness and wellness and I love working on my own projects that is why entrepreneurship was always the best choice and a great path for me to walk through.
I love the freedom of doing different kinds of stuff that makes me use my mind creatively or effectively and watch them happen as part of my own creation. That is why responsibility is one of my favorite vocabularies.
Let's say, if I want to go out of the country today — surely, I don’t need anyone's permission or anyone to tell me what to do or not do. What to have or not to have. Who to be with or not be with. If I want to be, I just Be.
A Parent? Understand This!
1. Your children aren’t your children. They just come through you yet not for you. They are here with you yet they do not belong to you.
2. It’s your responsibility to take care of your children. Especially if they are under your supervision. Yet do not possess them.
3. Your children aren’t here to fulfill what you haven’t accomplished. They are here to play their own music. What nature itself has intended them to be, do, or have. Your children have their own talents, values, and dreams of which also need to be fulfilled by them.
4. As a parent, you need to be supportive, encouraging, and inspiring to your children. Not a helicopter parent. Always woofing over your kids. Don’t do this. Do this. You can’t have this. You can’t do that. We don’t have this. Etc. It's detrimental to their brain and you just denature the genius inside of them.
5. Your responsibility as a parent is to be a nourishing parent to your kids, not their life manual. Your children do have the Source within them of which always guide them in a magnificent way. If we tend not to mess up with them — lots of good things tend to happen. You shouldn’t be someone who always tells your kids to do this or that, yet you can create a nourishing environment for them to flourish.
I sometimes live with my young twin sisters.
I tell you, if I do not interfere with them they do lots of good. Yet if I do, you will find things aren’t working as to how I want them to be. Anger, bitterness, or resentment will be the end product of every conversation with them. Why? Things aren't happening my way. So I am mad at them. How dumb is that?
Staying with them for some time —I have learned lots of things from them. I choose to trust in their own nature, their ability, and the Source within them. And give them the belief that they can do it isn’t necessarily what I need to tell them and they do their work perfectly.
For Your Older Children
If you are a parent who has an older child — those who are ready to find their way out of life — give your kids room to grow. Especially if they are the ones who opt to live their dreams.
I wonder how many parents out there think once their children get this or that, they should do something back for them. Maybe giving them money or taking care of some relatives.
Let them live their lives. And take care of your own. If your children aren’t there yet to support you do not pressure them. They are here to fulfill their dreams, not yours.
Your children need the freedom to live on their own. To enjoy on their own. If it is supporting you as a parent, they will do it if they want to. Not if you tell them to do it and start blaming them for what they aren’t doing— it is cursing their path of peacefulness instead of blessing them.
As a parent, do not put so much pressure on your kids. Let them live their lives. Let them fulfill their dreams. Let them flourish and surely without your limitations one day you will enjoy their beautiful creation.
Gilda Given :)
It’s my hope that you grabbed a thing today :)
Let me know in the comment box below yet, if you clap for this article, could sound great too :)
By Gilda Given on 02 May 2023