The world is full of scenes yet we only get to see already-made movies in cinemas. Do you know why, because behind the scenes is really ugly— you can’t watch it!

Putting it in a different scenario.

The truest happiest people that you see aren’t really happy as to how they portray it…

The most positive people that you know aren’t really positive as to how they show it… &

The most lovable person that you know he/she might be feeling unloved right now.

Shocked? That is true.

But how do I know?

Because we are humans.

All beings are emotionally generated & characterized creatures.

You don't need to be a psychologist to understand this.

We aren’t robots!

And that communicates that we all experience different emotions — positive and negative, happiness and unhappiness, joy and sadness.

However, there’s a difference between…

…those who are aware of them (conscious beings) and break free and those who aren’t (unconscious beings), and suffer great pain.

A True Confession!

As a writer, what I have been writing is mostly based on positivity and I always encourage others to stay positive for as long as they can.

It was just a few weeks ago the time I found myself in a deep frustration (I knew the root cause as I don't have a victim mindset) that left me in a negative experience and I never thought could take my attention for a such long time and that is the reason for me to write this post up.

So if you ever asked yourself, does Gilda ever have/face a negative experience or moment in her life, my answer would simply be…

…absolutely, why not! I am a human being — I am not a robot.

Yet, how I deal with it always puts me in a different life dimension — and that act can describe Gilda as a conscious being.

There are times I also felt/feel distracted especially when I see things aren’t working as to how I wish them to be (my way) — yet, as a conscious being, I also understand it only happens when I put too much expectation — solution to NOT expect especially when things aren’t really in my control.

But do I run from the negative experience?

Not really!

Why?

Because it’s during the moment of adversity that our souls tend to grow and our minds get strengthened.

So what I have learned from all the negative experiences is that,

Sometimes — denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and emotional dysfunction.

But also I always get backed up by this profound book by Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, who also observed that…

“When we force ourselves to stay positive at all times, we deny the existence of our life’s problems. And when we deny our problems, we rob ourselves of the chance to solve them and generate happiness. Problems add a sense of meaning and importance to our life.”

Mark also added that “It’s simple, really: things go wrong, people upset us, accidents happen. These things make us feel like shit. And that’s fine. Negative emotions are a necessary component of emotional health. To deny that negativity is to perpetuate problems rather than solve them.”

If denying negativity or negative experiences can lead to many problems, what should we do when facing them?

Dealing with Negativity!

1. Admit, accept, and acknowledge that you have had a negative experience.

The first step toward solving any unseen problem like negative thoughts is to accept that we do have such kind of experiences and bring that awareness to our minds.

Do not fight back. Accept what is.

Accept that you are experiencing negativity and keep embracing what you are feeling now. Observe how your body feels, and how your heartbeat performs, and just be there as an observer.

Then bring some calm sense words repeatedly through your mind like…

It’s okay….(mention your name), things happen differently sometimes, people are also different, he/she might be suffering now, its going to be fine. This too shall pass or I don’t care.

Bring your mind to this simple awareness and see how things going to change. I practice this and it truly serves me a huge purpose.

P.S: When we give our mind a good reason as to why something isn’t important to us — our minds tend to follow us and give us support.

Use your mind proactively.

2. Talk to a trusted friend you trust the most and the one who is always there to remind you how great you are.

The mind sometimes goes against us — and it's okay.

As they are things when the mind is used to them, it gets tired of them too. You need to understand this.

I would advise looking for a friend or someone who you trust to share with him/her what bothers you — can also be a trusted mentor, a parent, or a partner.

Why someone?

Trust me sometimes it’s hard to have the same strength and to be able to determine our self-worth, especially when facing difficulties.

Having someone we trust would serve a purpose especially to just remind us how great we are as human beings and that we matter.

On my side, I have friends or a mentor whom I trust the most, so when sharing things with them, they make me feel safe, secure and understood.

I would also advise you not to talk to anyone, but also with those who you trust and who understand you — if you have none, approach a stranger who is a good listener.

3. Go out and have some fresh air. Look how kids play, your cat or dog if you have any.

I used to live with a cat. His name was Ace.

What I have learned from Ace is that animals are among the most joyful creatures in the world you will ever meet.

Being with them around makes us be present and feel like someone is there for us who can also be with us all the time without judgment — their love is totally unconditional. You can also go out for some fresh air. Any contact with nature is worth doing.

If none of that works, interact with kids and observe how less they are, and copy their ability as you were such a kid before.

4. Own your problem & take responsibility for the way you feel.

In his book, Mark also spoke about the responsibility issue. He observed that…

“When we feel that we’re choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon us against our will, we feel victimized and miserable.” — Mark Manson

If it's something that can be changed — take responsibility and do it in a way that would give you piece. For instance, if you are in a toxic relationship and you want to leave the person, you do have the capability to do so. It's something that can be changed if you take responsibility.

If it's something that is out of your control like you are in a traffic jam or you hate how it rains — learn to calm yourself down as nothing can be changed from that scenario.

Take responsibility 100% and make things work for you in the way that you want them to be — if it’s something out of your control, leave it away and give your mind space.

5. Read or write your thoughts down.

Reading and journaling are more than medicine.

If you are in a deeply negative experience find a good book that will catch your attention and read it.

Mostly, the books that will directly connect with you deep down such as the ones that speak more about your current experience. For instance, the book written by Mark Manson, I highly recommend this book as it's worth reading during negative experiences.

You may also opt to write your negative thoughts down — in a paper or just a notebook. Expressing your thoughts in the paper makes your mind free and creates a space for more peace. It’s like dumping your thoughts into a dustbin. Isn’t it interesting?

It’s like having a long talk with someone who just listens to you without asking questions, cutting you off, or judging you.

This is so profound and I write my thoughts down a lot. Not once but every day even if it’s just a prayer towards someone or just telling others that I do care about them or love them — I believe that it is the soul that listens more.

6. Turn it over to God!

Now you have tried to take ownership of your negative experiences and you have tried all other ways and still, things aren't working — turn it over to God.

Sometimes we need something greater than us — than any human being on earth to remind us who we truly are, our worth, and our true purpose and be able to get back in control.

Turn that addiction to God!

God never fails those who truly believe in Him!

G.

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It’s my hope that you grabbed a thing today :)

Let me know in the comment box below yet, if you clap for this article, could sound great too :)

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