Healed? Healed?
Edgar Buberwa

Edgar Buberwa

23 Feb 2024

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But, do we heal from grief or we learn to live with it?

Do we replace that void with anything equally meaningful, if there’ll ever be

Or maybe we accept the goodbye we never received?

Actually, maybe we hope they are in a better place, somewhere more deserving

More deserving than how they made us feel

Importantly, more deserving than the place and role and significant meaning they had to us

but we can’t question further can we?

You believe you’ve healed, that you’re grateful for the memories, that it was a life well lived, that everything turned exactly how it was meant to be

You believe grief is a process with an end, it’ll come to pass and you won’t question every day and every night if they really had to go

if the Almighty really had to plug this plot twist in that episode of life

If there there was anything you could do, say like a magic wand to change their fate

You really believe you’re past the whole process, you’re finally at peace with the outcome, they are gone and it is well with your soul, until…

Until they are continuously the first thought when you get good news but you can’t share it with them, can you?

you just imagine how happy they would have been, or even how how their lives would have changed, but where’s their life anyway?

Healed is what you presume, until it’s their anniversary and you are brought back to the very day that prescribed grief to you

You re-live the pain, the shock and oh, the disbelief

Maybe it’s now part of you, you embrace it for the person it shapes you

You don’t dismiss it because that is not healing, you accept this new normal and the hollowness it encompasses

You see things differently, your view on life and priorities shift

Life goes on, pretty much fast, maybe differently

but in the end of the day, did you really heal? 

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Edgar Buberwa
Written by

Edgar Buberwa

Currently studying for an MSc. in Applied Development Economics at The London School of Economics and Political Science. Previous experiences in development consulting for sectors e.g., agriculture and food security, financial inclusion, climate change

More articles in Poems: So Not Sang Loud series

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